Cahendy's Blog

Closing

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:23:42 +0000

Finding artifacts were much more difficult that I had anticipated. To be completely honest evidence of that is that I did not officially start my portfolio until midnight (I am a procrastinator) and I am not finishing until most likely twenty minutes from now which will be ten am. I had been keeping a word document with concepts I wanted to use and a couple of artifact ideas but I did not anticipate it being this difficult to come up with some of them.
I ended up using youtube much more than I had originally anticipated which was a pleasant surprise given the difficulty I had finding enough artifacts in other places. There were two major thing that I used that I had not even though about until I started looking around. The first one was that I used a couple of commercials. I realized that commercials are a great example of women being objectified and used through the media. I watched so many commercials on you tube, some of which were banned and I could not believe some of the things they showed but it was great to be able to use some of the examples they gave me. The next one was I took advantage of interviews I found. I also watched a good number of these and I think I only used one, but it was one of my favorite artifacts I found. It was Jenna Fischer who plays Pam on the office talking about how she is motivated by how Britney Spears looks because she wants to look more like her.
I used clips from the TV show friends for some of the relationship concepts that I wanted to use. Friends had great examples and surprisingly a lot great clips on you tube that I was able to use. I also used an episode from the show Lie to me, which was great because that is one of my new favorite shows and I was able to recall it quickly. I feel like I focused mostly on gender communication in relationships mostly because having had personal experience with that they were the most enjoyable concepts to find artifacts for.
One of the more difficult artifacts for me to come up with that I thought would have been so easy were movies. I could not for the life of me think of any movies to go with some of the concepts I was trying to complete. There are just so many movies that I could not think specific examples so I only used I think two movies.
The most surprising artifact that I used was my very last one and it was a clip from the women’s talk show the view. It was a clip where they got into a huge argument and I decided to analyze it and it was a fun artifact to use. I have no clue how I managed to come across an episode of the view but I am glad I did.

Cat Fight

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:28:53 +0000

Something most men could never understand is how women communicate with one another. When women communicate they use a lot of nonverbal communication through touch. Another way women communicate that I am not even sure they understand, and I did not find anything on in the book (I may have missed it accidentally) is how women argue.

I have absolutely no clue how I stumbled upon this video, but I have been up all night and I watched this one three times and laughed so much. It is the show the view, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Rosie O’donnell have a big argument in the middle of the show. What I learned from this about how women argue is if they are very passionate about the topic and very heated they yell louder, make less sense, and begin to take personal shots at the other person. As I thought about it more I realized that is exactly what men do as well. Finally one thing that both men and women are similar in how they communicate. The difference is that men are more likely to make the confrontation physical while women would continue to keep it verbal.

Built up Rage

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:10:06 +0000

One thing that men do better than women is share how they are feeling when it comes to anger, if it is not a big deal they are better at just letting it slide and forgetting about it. There are instances though when men let things bottle up and they explode. I think that men typically externalize their anger but in a uncontrolled way which is not good to do but I also think that most people would agree that it is better to share your anger than to keep it bottled up inside. I find it interesting that women share emotions better if it has to do with their feelings, or about the relationship which tend to go hand in hand with more feminine type feelings. A more dominating masculine emotion is anger which men are release more often than women.

This scene from You Me and Dupree is a fantasy in which Carl who is Matt Dillons Character is obsessed over the fact that Owen Wilson’s character is trying to cheat on him with his wife Kate Hudson. Right after Carl plays that over in his mind he attacks Durpee exemplifying the kind of anger that so many men have to deal with. It is hard to not let some things like that build up over time and when they do it can come out in an uncontrollable rage. I would guess that most men at some point in their lives have experienced that rage type feeling, hopefully they have all been able to control themselves enough to not harm themselves or anyone else.

Sources: Gamble, T. K., & Gamble, M. W. (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

The Tough Guy

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:56:49 +0000

The Tough Man. This is the stereotyped man as tough emotionally stable, in control of feelings, able to withstand pain and self-sufficient. Men are not supposed to be perceived as if they were leaning on others, instead they should show that they are their own person and very capable of forging their own way without making a mistake. The way this applies to the workplace is men do not want people to view them as incapable, weak, dependant or unmanly. (Gamble and Gamble, chapter 8)

This is the trailer for the movie what women want. The main character Nick Marshal is played by Mel Gibson and he is the definition of a tough man. He did not want anybodies help and for awhile started to fail but as long as he was failing on his own he seemed ok with it. Eventually he asked for help, but it is sad to me that there are men out there who will avoid asking for help at any lengths.

Sources: Gamble, T. K., & Gamble, M. W. (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Apparently She is Selling Pepsi

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:33:04 +0000

I still remember my freshmen year in high school watching the super bowl where the patriots beat the rams at the last second. That was not the biggest moment I remember though, not even U2 playing that awesome halftime show was the most memorable. It was the Britney Spears Pepsi commercial. It has been known for years that sex sells, and Pepsi quickly jumped on the Britney bandwagon by signing her to a big deal in order to sell Pepsi.

I loved the commercial then, but that was 8 years ago. Now I know two things. First how offensive that is to women, and second that commercial in no way made me want to drink a Pepsi. In the Gender Communication Connection the Gambles point out a number of things that are consistent from ad to ad with women. A few of them that are present in this ad are the women are shown in isolation form other women, they are portrayed as dependent, they wear bathing suits/lingerie more than work attire. It is not a question of it being a sexy commercial, it is a matter of it being appropriate and it is not, especially during the super bowl when families with children are watching. Some ads are starting to portray women as independent rather than incapable of making important decisions without men.

Sources: Gamble, T. K., & Gamble, M. W. (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co.

Cute Pam turning into Supermodel Jenna

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:40:57 +0000

Women are always comparing themselves to celebrities from movies, music videos, or TV shows. The image that some of these women somehow maintain is way above average for the average girl, but its the only image that the media lets people see so young girls think everyone is skinny and beautiful but her. I have never heard of a celebrity comparing herself to another celebrity before like I do in this interview.

In this interview Jenna Fischer the cutest actress ever and who is also Pam on the office is talking about how she gets motivated to become fit. Her main motivator she says is Britney Spears. At first it looks like she is talking about how her music motivates her to get in shape but she said “I just think about if Britney can look like that then why can’t I.” I have to be honest I was a little upset to stumble upon this interview just because I think that Jenna is falling into the trap that many women do in America. For the longest time Jenna Fischer was known as the cute Pam Beasley from the Office. It was no secret that she did not have the super model type body that so many of her peers in the media have but that what was so great about her. In the interview it shows her picture on self magazine and they have her so fixed up with makeup and hair products that you can barely recognize it is her.

Sources: Michael W, Teri Kwal, Gamble (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Ludacris’s Fantasy….A Woman’s Nightmare

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:43:56 +0000

I decided to start to look for a music video where women are objectified so the first name I typed in was Ludacris and the first result that youtube gave me was the music video to “What’s your fantasy.” I had never seen the music video but I have heard the song and I am not going to put it directly on here because of how dirty it is. The link is here if you want to watch it.

“When produced or written by men, music videos are more apt to promote sexism and communicate a misogynistic message by commonly depicting women outside the workplace, as background decorations, sex objects or slaves, the targets of male gazes or desires, or as victims of violence.” (Gamble and Gamble p.370) This music video by Ludacris is all about sex and the lyrics are about how and where he wants to do it with them. This song and others like it are what is so wrong with some youth’s images of women today. I am shocked that this music video could ever air on TV, and I am even surprised that it was allowed on the radio because even with the edit on it was very descriptive. Some men out there disgust me and what they do for a living and the way they talk about women is horrible. Also it bothers me how easy it is to get a back up dancer in a music video for that. I wish those women had more self respect, but I am sure they have never had a man treat them the right way so all they think they have to offer are there bodies.

Sources:Michael W, Teri Kwal, Gamble (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.

It’s a Love Story (that most likely won’t happen)

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:16:40 +0000

One big difference between men and women is where they get there ideas of what intimacy is. A man and a woman in a relationship will rarely have similar views on what intimacy is because women learn about romance from books like Cinderella or Cosmo magazine while men read adventure novels and sport and car magazines. This reinforces men’s gender stereotype that lead them to focus on sex and women to focus on being swept away. Neither expectation creates a healthy romantic relationship because those expectations are rarely met. As a romantic relationship matures memories of our unrealistic relationship models negatively affect both male and female evaluations. (Gamble and Gamble, Chapter 7)

“Love Story”

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I’m standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you, “Please don’t go…”
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew-
So close your eyes… escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo – I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet” -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, “Please don’t go”
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it’s real.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.

I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said…

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said…

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad — go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say… yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.

’cause we were both young when I first saw you

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

I am obviously using this song to take a look at women’s unrealistic view of love. I believe in true love but its hard to believe the fact that some women would think that this song is a template of what true love is. This song is just like what the Gamble’s say, women want to be swept away while men want sex. There are numerous rap songs I looked at using to compare but I do not want to have anything that crude on here. One thing I noticed about this song is nothing sexual is even mentioned, not even a kiss, whereas it is hard to find a song sang by a guy that does not even mention a kiss even if the song is not about a girl.

Sources: Michael W, Teri Kwal, Gamble (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Ross and Rachel meet, fall in love, hate each other then fall in love!!!

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:03:12 +0000

There is a ten stage model to romantic relationships. The first step is initiating which is meeting the person or approaching them to ask how they are for the first time. Then experimenting which is where you search for common ground in order to figure out if it has a future or not. Next is intensifying which is where you disclose more and more personal information and how you feel about one another grows. Some call this stage the love stage. Then there is the integrating stage which is where people begin to see you as a couple. Bonding is when you start to talk about yourselves sharing your lives together. Then it goes downhill with the differentiating stage which is when we attempt to regain unique identities rather than be seen as a package deal. Circumscribing is the stage where the relationship begins to unravel. Then the stagnating stage which is the relationship just at a standstill. Next is avoiding which is where the former partners ignore each other in order to avoid having to relate in any way. Last is terminating the relationship which is when the relationships cause our weighs the rewards. (Gamble and Gamble Chapter 7)

This video is a 10 minute clip I found on youtube and it is a video summary of Ross and Rachel’s 10 year up and down relationship. They have every stage in the video from initiating to the integrating and the circumscribing and terminating stage. The thing about the two of them is they went through that cycle one full time then they started the relationship again. I think this is a great demonstration of what a real life relationship can look like. Sure it was a lot of fake Hollywood involved with them, but they go through turmoil, hating each other, loving each other which are all common things that happen to the strongest of relationships.

Sources: Michael W, Teri Kwal, Gamble (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.

If She Were A Boy

cahendy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:50:34 +0000

“If I Were A Boy”

[Verse]
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

[Bridge]
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

[Chorus 2]
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

[Thanks to jd for these lyrics]

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

This song is perfect for taking a look at what some girls think a mans life is like. In this class we have talked so much about double standards for women, and women not getting the respect that they deserve from men, and I agree with everything we have said, but one thing this song shows is that men should get more respect and trust from some women. I know that there are some men who do not treat women right but this song is kind of offensive. I do not really care because it is Beyonce but if I had a friend tell me these things I would be upset. It is not nearly as easy to be a boy as Beyonce makes it out to be in this song. We do not go out looking for ways to give our girlfriends reasons to mistrust us. This song is written toward the few guys who deserve to be mistrusted, but where is the song for us good guys? One of the characteristics of romance that the Gambles write about is commitment. (Gamble and Gamble, p.167) I am not aware of many men who have a hard time following that rule.

Sources: Michael W, Teri Kwal, Gamble (2003). The Gender Communication Connection. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.